It's Not Easy Being an Idol

[shannon4fb]

Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama

It's Not Easy Being an Idol

A story about love, friendship, and the power of music

The popular story is finally here!

Chapter 1: Guess What I Saw[/size]

It was a fine day in San Francisco when Danny Noriega woke up. His eyes thrust themselves open and he immediately went to the window to see this marvelous day. The sun was shining, the bees were buzzing happily through their hives, and the birds were chirping softly. Danny immediately opened his bedroom window and sniffed the sweet smelling air and let it rush to the nostrils of his fairly large nose. Too bad it was about to be ruined for Danny because the minute he was about to bless this day, David came out and yelled, "Danny! It's time to go to work!"

Danny's smile then immediately turned to a frown. He almost forgot that he had work today. And to make things worse, he had to work all day with one of the most annoying neighbors in all of San Francisco: David Archuleta. Why me? he asked himself as he took off his night cap and put on his uniform shirt. Of all the days I have to work, why does it have to be today? Why did I ever employ to be a cashier at The Cooks in the Kitchen? And why in heaven's name do I have to work, live next to, and deal with that annoying, midget, hyperactive pain in the butt known as David? As soon as he got dressed, he left his house and walked to work with David. For some reason, David seemed happier and more hyper than usual, which was usually bad news for Danny because that usually meant that he'll talk five times as much as he usually does. He didn't want him talking too much while they were at work, so he decided to get it out of the way by asking "Okay, David. What's on your mind, dare I ask?"

Then David's smile grew real big. Like freaky big. He really wanted to tell Danny what happened yesterday, but he was too excited to say anything so all he did was giggle. Then he finally said, "Do you know what I went to see live yesterday?"

Danny looked at the kid like he was some sort of weirdo. Then he decided to continue by saying, "No. What did you see?"

David giggled some more. "I'll give you a hint. It's a reality show. This was the season final."

"Tell me."

"No. You'll have to guess."

Danny sighed. He hated guessing games. Especially when he had to guess something that was on David's mind, but he decided to humor him. "Uh... Dancing With the Stars?" David didn't answer, but he shook his head. "No? Okay, uh... Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" He shook his head again. Danny was running out of guesses and was getting even more annoyed with David's giggling. "David! Just tell me!"

David couldn't contain his excitement any longer! He had to tell or else he'd explode! Then after giggling uncontrollably for about 20 seconds, he finally shouted, "I WENT TO SEE THE AMERICAN IDOL: SEASON SEVEN FINAL!"

Danny rolled his eyes. He never really liked American Idol. He thought it was just another overrated reality show that didn't deserve the attention it got. This was probably why he wasn't a fan of Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks, Carrie Underwood, Kellie Pickler, or Chris Daughtry. But David thought just the opposite of it. He loved it! He loved the contestants, the judges, the host, everything! Sometimes he and his best friend Jason even pretend that they are Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell and that David's dog Archy was a contestant. They tried time and time again to convince Danny to play the part of either Ryan Seacrest or an audience member, but so far they haven't gotten him to do it once. Sometimes they even got Carly to play as Paula Abdul, but most of the time she's too busy with her artwork to play and only came out a few times.

During work, David didn't keep his mouth shut for one millisecond. He kept going on and on about how great the show was. He talked about the performances, the judge's comments, the flashbacks and every single little detail that made it one of the best shows ever. Danny couldn't take much more of David's non-stop chatter. I swear I'm going to kill myself if he does this tomorrow! he thought. In the afternoon, more trouble came: Jason Castro. Danny thought he'd come for his usual afternoon Super Personal Pan Pizza Deluxe with extra everything, but that wasn't why he came. The minute he stepped into The Cooks in the Kitchen, he immediately shouted, "David!"

David's head appeared through the window behind Danny. "Hey Jason! Did you see the American Idol season seven final?"

Jason immediately came up to the window David was sticking his head out of. Then they started shouting just like the day when Mr. Cook thought he was going bald. "Yeah! I saw it live! It was awesome!"

"Me too! Did you get your tickets online?"

"Yeah! Did you see the part where Randy Jackson said he wants to sticks a sword through Simon Cowell?"

"Yeah! Did you stay after the show to see Jordin talking with the audience?"

"Yeah! Did you see the part where Sabrina Bryan tripped and fell?"

"Jason! That didn't happen! You're thinking about Dancing with the Stars!"

"I am?"

"Yes! You are!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

Danny had had it! It was bad enough with David, but Jason had made things ten times worse! He couldn't hold in his anger any longer, so he finally shouted, "WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP ABOUT THAT STUPID AMERICAN IDOL SHOW ALREADY?"

Then everyone at The Cooks in the Kitchen stopped what they were doing and turned their heads to Danny. David and Jason gave Danny a shocked look. Their mouths hung open for a few seconds. Did Danny really call American Idol... a stupid show? David's eyes grew so big and were practically popping out of their sockets! Did Danny really mean that? Did he really think that American Idol was nothing more than... a stupid show? He couldn't believe it! Then one of the customers stopped the silence by going up to Danny and saying, "You sicken us true Idol fans! Come on guys! Let's go somewhere with employees that really care about us fans of American Idol." The customers nodded in agreement and left.

During this, Mr. David Cook was busy counting his money until an alarm went off. "What? What's this?" he shouted. Then he went to a thermometer-like device on the side of the wall that read out of how many customers were currently at The Cooks in the Kitchen and noticed that the thermometer rapidly dropped from "Better than McDonald's"(about 35-40) to "Ghost Restaurant"(5-0). Mr. Cook grinded his teeth. "Either this thing needs to be fixed, or someone's gonna be sent to the unemployment building!" Then he immediately burst out of his office (and going through the door instead of opening it, but he was so mad that he didn't care), he immediately turned to the only people that were left in the restaurant: David, Danny, and Jason. He came up to the three of them and said, "Okay! Which one of you three got rid of my well-paying customers? It's gotta be one of you three 'cause it usually is!"

"Danny just yelled out to everyone that he thought that American Idol was a stupid show and everyone got mad and left!" David blurted out.

"Well it's true," Danny said defensively. "It's a dumb, overrated reality show that doesn't deserve the attention it's getting!"

"Jason! Cover your ears! We're too innocent to hear such vulgar language!" Then David put his hands over his tiny ears and Jason did the same with his dread-lock covered ones.

Mr. Cook was not amused with Danny's most recent action either, though it was for getting rid of his customers instead of calling Idol stupid. "Well the next time you think about expressing your opinion, don't do it in front of my paying customers!" Cook shouted. Then Cook looked around and sighed. "Well, seeing how all of my customers won't be coming back for the rest of the day, I suppose you guys can take the day off. But I expect you to be here tomorrow, got that?"

"Thank you, sir!" David said as he placed his hand over his heart. Then Cook left to see what he could do about fixing the door to his office that he broke in his outrage. Then David immediately left the kitchen and went right up to Jason. "I guess we're gonna play Idol earlier than usual today Jason. I guess that means we can play longer than usual too!"

"Hooray! Oooh! Oooh! I call Randy Jackson! I call Randy Jackson!"

"No fair Jason! I wanted to be Randy Jackson today!" Then he shrugged. "Oh well. Being Simon Cowell isn't so bad either. Come on buddy! Let's go visit Carly's house to see if she can play as Paula today."

"Okay." Then Jason ran out of the Cooks in the Kitchen and headed towards Carly's house. Then David turned to Danny. "Danny. Before I leave I want to tell you that I feel sorry for you."

David's words surprised Danny. David? Sorry? For him? These words rarely worked together in his vocabulary. (And by rare, I mean rare.) Then Danny looked at the child with a friendly look. "Sorry? For me? Really?"

"Yeah. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't like Idol because they don't know what they're missing."

Then Danny's sympathetic look turned back to his usual pessimistic one. "Oh. That again."

"Yeah. Hey Danny? I know you're not gonna like this if I ask you, but..."

I probably won't, but I'll hear it anyway, he thought.

"Will you come and play as contestants with us? You see, Jason, Carly and I have never really play as anyone else other than Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell, and Paula Abdul and it gets kinda repetitive after a while without somebody else to play with as a different person. So can you play with us today? Please?"

Danny would usually say no to his offer, but he knew if he didn't go with it that David would go to the limit to get him to play the rest of the day, and he didn't want to go through that for the five hundredth time. So he sighed and said, "Alright. I'll play as contestants."

This time David was surprised. He didn't expect Danny to say yes, especially since Danny openly admitted that he hated American Idol. "Really?"

"Sure," he said flatly. "Just as long as I don't do anything stupid."

Then David had a sudden outburst of energy as he jumped into the air and shouted, "Hooray!" Then he touched back down. "I've always wanted you to say that! Come on! We've got to get to April Border so that we can start playing right away!" Then he immediately grabbed Danny's arm and darted to April Border.

[shannon4fb]

Chapter 2: Count Me In!

Carly was sitting on the picnic bench in her backyard working on a painting. Carly was an artist who would paint pictures for businesses, restaurants, and other places. She would also sell some of her art at auctions. The painting she was working on was her latest: Metallic Flower. It was supposed to be a painting of a vase with a rose, a daffodil, and pansy inside of it. But the vase was metallic, along with the flower stems and the water dripping off of them. Once Carly finished touching up her painting, she took a picture of it, and hooked her camera up to her laptop. Carly then went to a website called and the site would rate her painting from one to ten. Carly did this quite often in order to see if her art was worth selling. "I hope this one's better than my last painting," she said to herself in her natural Irish ascent as she clicked on the analyze button on the site. The site began scanning the picture of her painting. It didn't respond for a few minutes, and then her laptop started to make whirring noises. Then it started vibrating violently. "Huh? What's up with this thing?" She tried switching the laptop off, but the small button on the side of it cracked and broke off. "Oh God. That ain't good!" Then the machine starting jumping and spewing out smoke from the jacks. Carly didn't like the looks of how her computer was reacting to her art and she had to do something quick before anything else happened, so she took a deep breath, turned her hands into fists and beat the shit out of her laptop until it was scrap metal. "Well, looks like I'm gonna need a new laptop!" she said, then looked at her digital camera, "And a new camera!" She sat down with a huff, picked up her laptop and tried to figure out what to do with it, then Jason suddenly popped up out of what seemed like nowhere, and started running towards Carly.

"Carly! Carly!" he shouted happily, "Wanna go play American Idol?"

Carly looked at the man with the dreads. She knew that David was usually working at the Cooks in the Kitchen by now, and she secretly loved it when David was there. "Sorry Jason. I'm a little busy with my broken laptop right now," she told him. "Maybe later on when David's back from work."

"But David is back from work!"

Her ears perked up at the sound of his name. Just hearing David's name made her heart feel light and joyful, but she didn't want to show it in front of Jason so she tried to act as normal as possible. "Back from work? Already?"

"Yeah. Mr. Cook told him that he and Danny could have the day off seeing how Danny drove away all the customers," he explained.

Carly raised an eyebrow. "What'd in the name of Ireland did he do to drive them all away?"

"He told everyone that he hated American Idol."

Carly gasped! She didn't know Danny hated that show. Most of the people in San Francisco that she knew of were all fans of the show. Mr. Cook's brother Adam practically worships Kelly Clarkson. David has at least half a dozen posters for all seven seasons inside his bedroom. Mr. Cook has a model of the chest with cursed Aztec gold that Randy had, sitting at the foot of his bed. Jason had a life-size manikin of Ryan Seacrest made out of mushroom and olive pizza until he got hungry and ate all of it. She had even seen Michael Johns drawing a picture of the epic battle between Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell on the back of the We Will, We Will, Feed You restaurant. It was hard to imagine that anyone in San Francisco hated Idol! But she shook it off. "Alright then. Looks like you've got me as Paula Abdul again," she said as she elbowed Jason a little and gave him a wink. Then she put on her jacket and followed Jason outside. Once they got outside, Carly automatically asked, "Mind telling me which one of you boys is playing Simon today?"

"David," he told her. "I already called Randy Jackson, so he took to being the part of Simon today."

Carly smiled. She liked it when David got to play the part of Simon because she knew that she'd get to be close to David. Real close. And who knows? Maybe he'd even kiss her this time. So far they haven't gotten to kiss each other yet because Jason kept forgetting his lines and they had to keep reminding him so it took three times as long as it usually would. One time they were close to it, but for some reason David stopped and started making excuses like he had to go home and rest up so he could work tomorrow, he had to feed Archy, it was getting dark, he had to study for his chemistry, etc. Carly's mind went back to that day. She couldn't help but to wonder why he was making all those excuses, but she didn't wonder for long for they were already in April Border, a field with nothing but nature. And before they knew it, they found David with Archy and... Danny?

"Now remember," David explained to him, "You have to aim your..."

"Aim my pistol at Jason, then shoot, then realize that I have wet gunpowder because me and the other Idols were under water because we had been dared to by the viewers to jump in the pool right before the results show and we had no time to change," Danny said flatly as if he'd heard it a dozen times before. (Which he actually did in order to know what he was doing seeing how he had only seen season one of American Idol.) If only this water gun was a real pistol and had real bullets, then I'd really shoot him and David too.

"Right." Then David looked to his right and found Jason and Carly. "Jason! Carly!" he shouted joyfully! He immediately ran up to the two with Danny and Archy following him. He came up to Jason and gave him a hi-five. "I see you've brought Miss Abdul with you, Mr. Jackson."

"Yeah I did. It wasn't easy, but I did it."

"Good! It just wouldn't feel right without the sweet Paula here." Then he turned to Carly. She smiled sweetly and he smiled back with his usual adorable grin. He secretly wanted to do more than just look at her and smile. He had certain feelings for Carly that he desperately wanted to tell her, but he always had this hidden doubt that she wouldn't return his feelings for her. Then Danny finally came and joined the other three in their greetings.

Carly's smile faded and she changed her attention from David to Danny. What in the world was Danny doing there? Wasn't he the one who openly claimed that he hated American Idol? Jason's expression was the same. Then he frowned. "Hey! What's he doing here? Trying to ruin our fun?" he asked grumpily and crossed his arms.

David could see that Jason wasn't happy. "It's okay Jason. He's going to play with us today. He's gonna be some contestants and come with us on our journey to bringing average people to stardom!"

Jason just stared at David blankly. For ten seconds he was completely still. He didn't even breathe until he finally said, "So he's playing with us?"

"Yeah, pretty much. So, let's go to our first audition stop in Pitts..."

"Wait!" somebody shouted! The four of them turned around to see that Mr. Cook was walking up to the five of them.

"Mr. Cook? What are you doing here?" David asked.

"Well seeing how you four are playing Idol and the Idols get money, and I love money, I'm in!"

David didn't exactly understand Mr. Cook's logic seeing how money wasn't one of the things he had in mind, but he completely understood that Mr. Cook said that he wanted to come and play with them, and that meant more people to play with, and that they'd have even more fun! "Alright then! Hm... well, I don't think you'd make a good Ryan Seacrest, and you'd make an even worse mentor, so... I think I'll make you some contestants as well! What do you say, Mister C?"

"Do these contestants make it to the top 12 and get money?"

"Uh... yeah. I guess."

"Then I'm alright!"

"Alrighty then! Now let's head to Pitts..."

"Hold on there, David!" a deep, Australian accent shouted. Then the six of them turned around again and found Michael Johns with little Ramiele Malubay. "Come on!" he shouted at Ramiele, and she ran towards him. They walked up to the other six.

"What do you want Michael? Aren't you gonna try to steal my secret formula for my meals today and fail as you always do?" Cook asked.

"Very funny David, but not today. For you see, I've got nothing better to do and heard that your young lackey and the dimwitted dread locks are playing American Idol. And seeing how I love Idol, I decided that I want to join too. Ramiele here was bored and decided to come with me."

"What? Surely you can't be serious!"

"I'm afraid I am. So, do I make your team?"

"This isn't possible!" Cook shouted. Then he turned to Archuleta. "David! Don't tell me you're actually buying this bogus suck-up story, boy!"

"But Mr. Cook, if he was lying to us, then wouldn't that mean that he'd be trying to steal your formulas right now?"

Then Cook thought about what David said. Then he scratched the back of his head in thought. And if he's here, then that also means that I can keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't leave to steal my formulas, he thought. Cook smiled at the thought of this and said, "I guess he can be here."

"Good! Then he'll get to be Ryan!"

"Ryan?" Michael asked not really wanting to be him.

"Yeah. You know, Ryan Seacrest. He's the short guy that's the host for Idol. Is that okay?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Um... can I play as someone too?" Ramiele asked shyly.

"Sure Ramiele. You can be a back-up singer."

"You mean I get to have my own microphone?" she asked excitedly.

"Sure. You can borrow Jason's." Then David reached into one of Jason's pockets. "I think I got it! No wait, that's a tennis shoe. Let's see... Here it... No, that's a baseball. Let's see, a golf ball, a tree, a pinball machine... Oh, hi Elvis. Um... Aha! Here it is!" Then he finally pulled out a microphone and a stand and gave it to Ramiele. "Perfect! Now, it's time to go to Pitts..."

"Hold on there, people!" a southern twang shouted. Everyone turned yet again, to see that Mr. Cook's cousin Kristy Lee Cook was coming towards them.

"Kristy? What are you doing here?" Mr. Cook asked?

"What? You didn't think I wanted to come with you too? I've never played American Idol before. And since everyone else is playing Idol, I want to give it a try and play too!"

David smiled. He didn't expect so many people to come here to play Idol. This was a pleasant change in events. "Well then you can be... uh..." It took a while for David to think of someone that Kristy Lee could play seeing how there weren't that many southern accented people on American Idol. He couldn't think of anyone other than a contestant she could play. So he gave up. "Well, I guess Kristy Lee can be contestants too!"

"More contestants?" Danny asked.

"Well sure! There were quite a lot of people to try out after season one."

"Contestants, you say? Well if I get to sing, this may turn out better than I expected. I'm definitely in now!"

"Great! Now, let's go to our first audition stop in Pittsburgh!"

[shannon4fb]

Chapter 3: Simon Says

David and the others were having a blast playing American Idol! Even Danny was starting to like it, although he didn't show it to the others. They wandered around April Border for hours and had a good time. Then they finally came to one of the parts where Simon and Paula kiss. Carly had secretly been waiting for this moment. She'd been waiting for a chance like this for years. David had also waited for a moment like this. However, was nervous. He had never kissed a girl before, excluding his mother and his grandmas from both sides of the family. He never thought he'd get a chance to actually kiss someone like Carly in his lifetime. Come on, Archuleta. Pull yourself together. It's only a girl, he told himself. A girl with beautiful eyes that loves singing, softball and art work that you've secretly had a crush on for almost eight years. That's all. He gulped down his fear and held her in his arms.

The rest of the gang watched and had smiles on all their faces. They secretly knew that there was something between these two and had hoped that a chance like this would come for them. David froze for a few seconds then looked at the others. "Go on kid," Mr. Cook said softly.

"You can do it buddy," Jason encouraged, giving him two thumbs-up.

David and Carly's faces were inches away from each other, and then David noticed something. He noticed Michael. At a first glance, he thought that Michael was smiling because he was happy to see the two of them together, but then he noticed that Michael's brown eyes weren't focused on him at all. They were fixated on Carly. He was looking her right in the eyes. He had some sort of a suave smile on his face as he raised his eyebrows a few times. At that moment, Carly noticed his look too, and raised one of her own eyebrows. Why was he looking at her like that? Wasn't he already married? She opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing looking at her like that, but then something else caught her eye. Something big and it was coming towards them fast. "Look out!" she shouted. Then everyone looked up and saw the enormous object coming down and ran away from their current spots to somewhere they thought they'd be safe. The giant object had touched down with a loud thud. During impact, the object had stirred up a massive cloud of dirt and dust that got into every ones' faces and caused them all to start coughing. After the dirt had cleared, Carly rubbed her eyes and focused her sight on what almost killed all of them. The rest of the gang came out and went to their previous spots to find a helicopter.

"Awesome! The sky had a baby again! And it's bigger than the last one it had!" Jason cried out.

Danny rolled his eyes the same way he shook his hips. He'd heard that one before. And like before, he had to tell him that he was wrong. "The sky didn't have a baby, you dumbbell! It's a helicopter! And the person who crashed it obviously doesn't know that this is not the right place to be landing helicopters!" Then he walked which looked more like a strut, up to the helicopter and got inside to see that nobody was there.

"What do you think you're doing there, Danny?" Mr. Cook asked.

"FYI Mr. Cook, I'm going to check out this helicopter and find out who was flying it. Then I'm gonna hunt them down and tell them that they shouldn't crash their helicopter here! It almost killed me!"

"But Danny, didn't you say the same thing about Piers Morgan when he drove his truck called "The Morgan Mobile" into your house and then you ended up in the Chamber of Losers, falling down into the infinite abyss for what seemed like an eternity until I got you back here?" David asked.

Danny paused for a moment. He had almost forgotten his incident with Piers Morgan, and it brought back memories of falling forever and getting third degree burns from Piers' flaming baseballs that he continually used to barbecue Danny with almost a dozen times. But then he quickly shook it off. That was only one time, he thought. It's not like it's going to happen again. Besides, what are the odds of that happening twice? And with that, Danny had started to climb into the helicopter.

David saw that his words only stopped Danny temporarily. "Danny! Wait!" he called after him. Then climbed into the helicopter as Danny began to fly the autopilot, which lead to the helicopter's owner.

"David! Get back here and give me my kiss!" Carly shouted. Then she saw the sly looks she got from the others, cleared her throat and quickly added, "So that we can get on with playing Idol some more! Do you hear me, Archuleta? Do you hear me?" But David didn't hear her. He was too determined to get Danny to come back and was too far up in the sky to hear any of them now.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait for them to get back," said Ramiele

But Jason wasn't about to continue playing without his best friend. It just wouldn't feel right. "Well, if David is going, then I say we all have to go!"

Michael was about to protest. "But Jason..."

"Hey! I'm the best judge of all, and I say that we go up there and convince Blake Lewis to come back!" And with that, Jason grabbed onto the long rope ladder that hung from the helicopter and hung from it. "Hold on Cowell and Lewis! Randy Jackson's coming for you!" Then he started the climb. The others watched him until they couldn't see him anymore. Then they all looked at each other, shrugged casually and followed Jason up the rope ladder with Ramiele's tiny body struggling behind them.

Later on, they had all finally reached the top of the long ladder and came up into the helicopter. It was on auto-pilot and none of them knew how to stop it, so they waited for the helicopter to come to a stop on its own. The helicopter landed in the parking lot of a large building. Everyone went inside to find out where they were. Inside was a large stage with thousands of empty seats in front of it. The stage was huge and looked quite professional. David knew it wasn't the America's Got Talent stage that he had been to before, but he couldn't help but think that the stage that he was staring at was familiar in some odd way. Danny and the others had finally gotten into the building too, which strangely enough was unlocked and anyone could enter. Danny looked at the place and snorted. "Just as I expected. This place is in terrible shape." Then he walked up to a table in front of the stage with three chairs next to it and laid his hand on one of the chairs, then immediately took it off. "Yuck!" he cried. "These chairs are covered with some sort of a slimy substance. That's unsanitary and a safety hazard!" Then he turned his attention to the table and looked at the cobwebs that were on the sides of it. "Cobwebs on the table? This crap is disgusting!" Then he looked above his head and found that on the ceiling there were tiny creatures growing. "I don't even want to know." Then he was about to check out the stage, when he suddenly found himself slipping on a small puddle of water and slide all the way to the other side of the large room and crashed into some speakers covered in dust.

Worried that Danny could've hurt himself, David and Jason ran over to where Danny crashed and helped him get back up onto his feet. "Are you okay, Blake?" Jason asked.

"Okay?" Danny boomed. "I just slipped and fell on my ass and slid across the floor and collided into a bunch of speakers and I now covered my favorite outfit in shit, that's all!"

"Oh. Thank God!"

"In other words I'm not okay, you asshole!"

"Sorry."

Then Danny stood up and brushed the dust off. "This place is a disaster waiting to happen! A death trap! The owner should be ashamed of this dump that he calls his...stage room or whatever! I wouldn't be surprised if he was in his room right now hiding his head in shame that he owns this piece of junk! I'm going to have to file a complaint with this guy!" Danny swung his hips as he paced angrily across the room.

"I don't think that's a good idea Danny," David told him. "This place gives me some sort of an eerie feeling deep down in my gut. I think we should leave."

"Not until I have a word with the owner! Now where is anybody?"

"Wear? I don't think this stage was meant for a catwalk, Danny." Jason said.

Danny just ignored him. He didn't have time to answer Jason's stupid questions. He went into a nearby hallway and found a closed door. He assumed it was occupied by the place's owner and immediately started banging on the door. "Open up! I'd wanna file a complaint!" he shouted with massive anger as well as attitude.

"I really don't think you should be doing this," said Carly, for she too felt a certain familiarity and creepy feeling about the place that they were presently in.

Ramiele was starting to get that feeling too. "M-Maybe we s-s-should c-come back later," she stammered. But Danny just ignored them all.

"Danny, I really think we should go back to playing Idol. I have a weird feeling that I've seen this stage before and at the same time I feel like we should get out of here in fear of something creepy that's...also here," David stated.

Carly nodded her head in agreement. "I feel like that too."

"Me too," said Jason. But Danny continued to ignore them.

Meanwhile, Simon Cowell and some American Idol employees were busy searching a nearby bus wreck for survivors that would be given a chance to join Cowell's team of employees that he pretty much took control of during the off season of Idol since Simon was forced to stay at the studio and work. Unfortunately, they didn't find anyone on the bus that wasn't killed by the tree that fell over top of it. Simon Cowell stared at the wreckage that the tree had caused. He stared at the dead men that laid face down on the ground. Then one of his workers, a clever man named Ricky, came up to him. "There's no one here, sir. They're all dead." Just then, they heard a banging noise coming from inside their studio. The people looked over to the large building and saw that there were people inside, and none of their own fellow workers were inside. That only meant one thing: that they had intruders inside the American Idol studio. The employees immediately headed back to the studio and decided to deal with these intruders and caught David and the gang by surprise.

"Oh my God!" David screamed. He was so scared that his pink, rosy completion turned to a ghostly white and he passed out right there in front of the stage. Not long after, the others did the same and they all passed out. When they woke up, they found Simon's fellow employees staring at them, and soon enough they were staring back at them with the same bizarre looks.

"David, who are they?" Jason asked in a whisper.

David was asking himself the same question. He knew that he'd seen these people or at least people a lot like them somewhere before, but he just couldn't figure out where he had seen them before. Then it hit him the moment he heard the noise that struck fear into his heart: the dreaded sound of a chubby, angry man with the sound of pie rumbling in his stomach! He recognized that noise right away. "Jason?"

"Yeah David?"

"I just figured out where I've seen these guys before."

"Where?"

"These are the people who during the American Idol off-season have to work for..." He didn't get to finish, but they soon found out what he was going to say, for the rest of the people moved aside to let their 'boss' through to see the intruders of his studio. David's eyes got so big that it seemed like they were almost ready to pop out of their sockets and fall to the carpeted floor. "Simon Cowell," he whispered shakily. The gang all set their eyes upon Simon Cowell. They had never seen a man even remotely like him and they doubted they ever would again. Just the sight of him with his box cut hair do, boring gray shirt, and evil scowl made them cringe in fear. Simon stepped forward to get a better look at them. His movement made them lean back and caused Archy to cover his frightened face with his tiny paws.

Simon gave them all a strange look. He had his share of seeing unnatural things in the past, but this was completely different. He'd never seen people so unbelievably frightened in all of his life. He never would've believed it until now. Then he came so close to David where David's eyes ducked all the way back into his head for a moment, and then they came back out. "So, you're the ones that have trespassed into my studio?" he asked in his dreaded British accent.

Jason, obviously not knowing that they were all in the worst danger they could possibly be in as far as an Idol's life goes, decided to speak up. "Yeah. Danny wanted to complain to you about how bad your place is."

Danny obviously didn't know that he'd be in such a bad situation like this again. It was like the Piers Morgan thing all over again, but at least he wouldn't get burnt to a crisp by flaming baseballs again. (After all, Simon Cowell didn't even like baseball.) However, he was afraid that Simon would do something even worse to him, like cutting off his legs with his finger nails or something. So to save himself from a possibly terrible fate, he tried to get Jason to stop telling him that they were there because of him. So he quickly covered Jason's mouth and said, "Uh, no. No I didn't. We, uh, ended up here by mistake and I, I uh..."

"But Danny, Jason's right. It is your fault that we're here in the first place. Let him talk!" said David. Then he remembered what danger they were in at the moment and sucked his lips into his mouth to prevent himself from saying anything else that would get them in even more trouble.

"You suck," Danny hissed at David softly. Then he looked back at Simon. The look on Simon's face made Danny gulp nervously and caused him to break out into a cold sweat. Then he gave a nervous chuckle and said, "He's joking. I, I never did that."

Obviously knowing that Danny was lying, Simon placed his large hand around Danny's throat in such a way that even the slightest movement could've ended his life at anytime. "Let the one with the dread-locks speak."

Afraid of ending his life too early, Danny nervously nodded and let go of Jason. As soon as he did, Simon let go of his throat, much to Danny's relief. Then he looked coldly at Jason as if to say "You've doomed us all for sure now, you bitch." Ignoring Danny's stare at him, Jason continued where he left off. "He said that your studio is in terrible shape. He said that your chairs were slimy, your tables are covered in cobwebs, and that you should be in your room hiding and hanging your head in shame that you own this place."

For each insult that Jason pointed out, Simon's stare at Danny became meaner and meaner. Then Simon looked back at Jason. "Is there anything else you'd like to add to that, Mister...?"

"Castro. Jason Castro. And yeah. He said something about a fashion show in here."

Simon's now ice cold stare at Danny made him extremely nervous now. It caused Danny to start sweating through the long striped scarf around his neck. "Uh, I can explain..."

"Oh don't worry. I'll listen. I'll have plenty of time to." Then he walked away. Thinking that Simon was going to let them off scot free gave them all a false sense of security and hope. Then he turned around and added, "After all, Mr. Danny, you'll have all of an eternity to tell me as you all serve me in this studio."

This last cruel comment to them made Cowell's fellow workers laugh. Even Jason laughed. Then after doing so, he stopped, turned to David and asked, "What was the joke Danny's mom made again?"

"Jason! Did you just blank out about what happened for the last five minutes and..." David looked at his watch, "thirty five seconds?"

It took Jason a while until he finally said, "Yep."

David sighed and said, "Let me give you a recap. Simon Cowell and his workers found us in their American Idol studio, you told them that Danny was insulting the place which made Simon really mad, and he apparently made us all a part of his team for the rest of eternity!"

"Wow! That's what happened? I thought I was missing a football game. Yeah, go Red Sox!"

Then David slapped his hand against his forehead. But only one of the San Frans was not worried throughout the whole thing: Kristy Lee Cook. For some reason, she was smiling. It wasn't until now that Mr. Cook noticed the look on his cousin's face. "Kristy? Are you okay?" he asked.

Kristy Lee didn't look at her older relative, but she sighed romantically and said, "I'm fine. Say, that Simon Cowell is quite the looker, don't you think?"

Mr. Cook's eyes popped! "Kristy! Do I have to remind you that that is the man who imprisoned us in this studio for the rest of eternity?"

"And while doing so, he's won over my heart for eternity."

"Kristy, the dirty air's getting to your head. Now come along! We've got ALOT of work to do."

[shannon4fb]

Chapter 4: Mr. Cook Saves the Day...or Does He?

David and the gang decided to get to work immediately. They didn't want to get caught slacking off, and they didn't want to find out what fate had in store for them if they did. Danny and Jason were stuck cleaning the stage floor, Michael and Ramiele were busy keeping a lookout for birds that could break one of the windows (which happened often), Mr. Cook and Kristy Lee were scraping gum off of audience seats, Archy was lord knows where, and David was with Carly straitening speakers and other equipment. Once they were through, they finally dropped down onto the stage and relaxed for a bit. That was when David noticed that Carly still had her jacket on, which seemed a bit useless since it was so warm in the studio and they had been in it for quite some time now. He tapped on Carly's shoulder. "Uh, Carly? I think you can take that off now." he said making pointing motions at his chest.

Carly turned her head to David. "I hope you mean just the jacket," she said slyly.

David didn't understand what she meant by that, then he figured out what she was really saying. "Oh no no no! Not like that! I mean... Yes, just the jacket."

Carly smiled. She knew he'd catch on, whether it was in a few seconds or a few hours. Then she took her jacket off. She was now revealing her spaghetti-strap purple top that she usually wore. David couldn't help himself staring at her. Something about her always made him feel wanted in the world. Then a thought came to him. Now's your chance to be a man, Archuleta, he told himself. Go ahead and tell her how you really feel about her. No one's watching. No one's even taking notice of you two. Do it! "Carly?"

"Yeah, David?"

"There's something I want to tell you."

"Yes? What is it?" she asked. Then she thought. Could this be it? Could this be the moment I've been waiting almost eight years for?

David struggled to get his words right. He didn't want to look dumb in front of Carly, especially not now when he was about to reveal his true feelings for her. "Well, I... I, um... well, you see, I... uh..."

"Yeah...?"

"Well, I, uh... that is... um..." He couldn't think of what to say. He was nervous. He never thought he'd ever have the chance to tell her these feelings. He also had that hint of doubt inside him that she wouldn't return his feelings. Come on, David. She'll never know how you feel for her until you tell her. You can do this! Be a man! "Carly, I..."

Just as David was about to say what he wanted to say to Carly, Mr. Cook came over and interrupted them. "David? Mind coming over here for a few minutes? I need to talk to you about something."

"What? Now?" he asked with a bit of disappointment in his voice. He wasn't expecting Mr. Cook to come over and ruin what might be the only chance he had to tell Carly how he truly feels for her.

"Yes, now!"

"But Mr. Cook! I..."

"Dude! It's an important matter! And whether we're at the Cooks in the Kitchen or not, I'm still your boss and I could still fire you!"

"But Mr. Cook, if we're working here for an eternity, than wouldn't that mean..."

"David!"

"Yes Mr. Cook, I'm coming." Then he got up and walked away with Mr. Cook. Carly watched him until he was out of her sight. She was disappointed that David didn't say what he wanted to say to her. David was sulking. He had waited years for a moment like that with Carly and he didn't say a word about his feelings towards her. "I blew it. I really blew it," he said under his breath. "I was given the one chance to prove to Carly that I really cared for her and I ruined it."

But Mr. Cook was too distracted to hear David complaining. Then he and David had finally reached a place where no one was there to listen in on their conversation. Then he put a hand on David's shoulder and said, "Listen David, I need you to pay close attention to this. Not that I don't think the whole living on a creepy and nasty American Idol studio for the rest of eternity and living under the rules of a truly evil man with a box-cut is a bad thing, but the thing is: I don't expect that to be the way I spend the rest of me life. You get what I'm saying'?"

"Oh I get you Mr. Cook. You mean you don't want to spend the rest of your life working in a studio with Simon Cowell."

"Exactly. So, you know a lot about this Simon guy, right?"

"Pretty much. I know him right down to his... Well I would say DNA, but unfortunately I can't seem to find any DNA samples of him. Why?"

Mr. Cook didn't expect him to say that, but he carried on. "I was kind of hoping that you'd know some sort of way that we could get out of our punishment and head back to San Francisco and go back to the way things were. So, is there anyway we could do that?"

"Well of course there is! You see, there's this game that you play where you bet however many years of service you have against another worker and if you win, you have that many less years to serve under Cowell's rule. I learned that from Pirates of the Caribbean."

"A game? Exactly what game is that?"

"Uh, I think it's something called Peruno."

"Peruno?" Cook asked? "As in, Liar's Dice?"

"Yeah. Have you heard of it?"

"Heard of it?" Cook laughed. "I used to play it with my friends in elementary school!"

"Really? Were you good at it?"

"Good at it? Archuleta, I am the best man in the whole dang universe at Peruno!" Cook bragged. "Why with my kind of luck at a game like that, we're sure to be set free in no time!"

David liked the idea of going back to San Francisco. He loved frolicking throughout April Border like a little girl, surfing at the beach, serving up delicious meals at the Cooks in the Kitchen and going to school and being with his favorite teacher Mr. Howard, who some say eats pants. Then a certain thought came to him. "But Mr. Cook, no one will want to risk their present years of service to be here for an eternity. That's just plain silly!"

"I've already thought of that. So here's what I'll bet against them: if I win, I get our freedom back, and if I lose, I send them on a one month's vacation trip to Hawaii that will be entirely paid by me."

"But Mr. Cook, what if you lose?"

"Kid, I already told you: I'm the best man in the whole dang universe at Peruno! There ain't no way I can lose! So get ready to kiss the place goodbye David, 'cause by tomorrow morning we'll be headed back to San Francisco!" And with that, he headed over to where the rest of the workers were playing.

Meanwhile, Carly's mind went back to the day where David almost kissed her. She was still trying to figure out why he was acting so strange that day. Why was he was making all those excuses? Why was he trying to go home so badly? And why was he acting so nervous? Carly couldn't think of a reason for his actions. Then she thought about what he was about to say a few minutes ago until Mr. Cook interrupted them. He was acting nervous there too. He was acting a lot like he did when he almost kissed her. And he acted almost exactly the same when he almost kissed her before she noticed Michael looking at her. Then it came to her. Could it be that David... was in love with her? As she was thinking, Michael came up to her and tugged on her shirt a bit. "Pardon me, Miss Smithson?"

This made Carly snap back to reality. Then she noticed that Michael was sitting next to her. "Oh, it's you," she said flatly. She moved herself so that she could see Michael face to face. "What do you want?"

"I, uh, wanted to know if you were doing anything tonight. And I thought if you weren't, then maybe I could, oh I don't know, have dinner with you maybe?"

Carly saw where this was going and she didn't like it. "Last time I checked, you were married."

"I wouldn't consider a marriage to someone who's always living across the world a real marriage." Then he started to look at her with a certain lust in his eye. "Especially if it's not to someone who's actually here, and even prettier such as yourself."

"Michael. Of all the downright sneaky things you've done in your lifetime, this has got to be one of your sneakiest yet."

Then Michael pretended to be in pain. He grabbed his chest and breathed deeply. "That kind of talk hurts, sweetheart."

"And this is gonna hurt even more." Then she pounded him all the way across the stage and he collided with the wall on the opposite side.

Then Ramiele walked by and noticed that Michael was painfully sitting against the wall. "I told you it wouldn't work," she said as she walked by.

"Whatever!"

The next day, David was up and he was ready to go back to San Francisco. Then he saw that Mr. Cook had his head down on one of the tables backstage and he was crying. David didn't really notice because he was too excited about going home to see how upset he was. "All ready to head for San Francisco, Mr. Cook!" he said cheerfully as he began dancing around the table. But Mr. Cook didn't listen. He was too busy crying. Then David looked around. He noticed that the rest of Simon Cowell's workers were missing. "Uh, Mr. Cook? Where are the rest of Simon's employees? Are they having breakfast in the lounge?"

Mr. Cook finally stopped crying and lifted his head from the table. "No," he sniffed. "They're not in the lounge. By now they're probably somewhere of the coast of Kauai."

David gasped! "Kauai? You mean you lost?"

Cook sadly nodded. "And by the time they get there, they'll be spending all of my hard-earned cash!"

"But Mr. Cook! I thought you said that you were, and I quote...," then he took a moment to fix his hair and draw some facial hair on his chin with a pen and do his imitation of Mr. Cook, "'The best man in the whole dang universe at Peruno!'"

"I was. I guess I ain't no more."

"But then that means that we'll never go back to San Francisco. We'll never see our homes again. We'll never watch SpongeBob SquarePants ever again. No more skateboarding, no more working at the Cooks in the Kitchen, no more going to Chuck E. Cheese, no more going to Disney Land, no more surfing at the beach, no more going to the Camp Rock fan club, and no more going to school!" Then he started to cry.

"And no way to earn money!" Cook sadly added and he started crying again too.

"And no peace from you idiots!" Danny also added, and then he joined in.

Then Carly joined in as well. "No more painting stuff!"

Michael too. "No more attempts to steal Cook's formulas!"

Ramiele started crying too. "No more attempts to bring world peace and help end world hunger!" Soon enough, almost everyone was crying except for Kristy Lee, who thought that spending the rest of her life with a man like Simon Cowell was like heaven on earth.

Then David stopped crying. "Well, I guess we'd better tell Simon that his regular team and his employees are gone for a month." He wiped away the remaining tears from his eyes then looked at Jason. "Say Jason? What day is today? I was so busy crying that I forgot."

"Hmm, let me check my calendar." Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a calendar about half his height and looked at it. "It says that today is May 23rd."

"May 23rd, huh?" Then David got an idea. Meanwhile, Simon was in his room sleeping in the chair by his organ. David quietly opened the door to his room and he signaled for the rest of the gang to come in. Then they quietly sneaked into his room and walked up right behind their sleeping master. Then David whispered, "Alright gang. Let's do this just like we rehearsed."

"Are you sure he'll like this?" Ramiele asked.

"Are you kidding? He'll love this! A-one. A-two. A-one, two, three, go!" Then the whole gang started singing: "Good morning! Good morning! It's happy World Turtle Day! Just look it up and you'll see why we celebrate! Because we all love turtles and we hope you do too. Happy World Turtle Day to you!" This caused Simon to wake up from his peaceful slumber, which he never really enjoyed seeing how he wasn't exactly what people would call a morning person. Wondering what could have woken him up and why he was hearing a song about turtles, he turned around and looked grumpily at the people who had caused him to wake up. It was David and the gang singing. Noticing that the boss was up, David stopped clapping and smiled. "Happy World Turtle Day, Simon! We just came in here to greet you with a song me and my friends made about turtles. Did you like it?"

Simon stared coldly at him as if to say, What do you think, you monkey-faced whore? Then he noticed that it was still fairly dark out and gradually started to grow a bit lighter. "What time is it?"

"Hold on a second sir. Let me check my watch." Then David pushed up his sleeve and read the time on his digital watch. "It says here that it's five o' three, Simon."

"Five o' three?You woke me up at five o' three in the morning?"

"Yup. And we've got news for you, Simon. Because of a bet that Mr. Cook lost playing Peruno, your employees are now spending the rest of the month on a vacation trip to Hawaii."

"Hawaii?" he boomed. As if being woken up rudely by them wasn't enough, now he had to spend a whole month with these imbeciles in his studio as his employees.

"And that means more time for us to get to know each other better," Kristy Lee added as she blinked her big eyes at him.

A bit creped out by Kristy Lee's actions, Simon took a few steps back and said, "Well if you're supposed to be part of my team, then I expect you to get to work! Off with you all!"

Then David threw out his chest and gave Simon a salute. "Aye aye, captain Cowell!" Then he and everyone else left. Then Simon went back to his room and sat in the chair by his organ. "Well, they can't be that bad, can they?" he asked himself. Little did he know that this was just the beginning of a very long and very annoying month for him...

[shannon4fb]

Chapter 5: Avril Cowell and Simon Lavigne

As David and Jason walked out of Simon Cowell's room, Jason asked David, "Jeeze. Danny's mom sure isn't a morning person, is she David?" Then Jason looked at David and saw that he wasn't paying attention to him. "David?" Then he waved his hand in front of David's face. He didn't react. He didn't even blink. "David?" Then he got down close to his ear and said very slowly, "Dav-id? Are you lis-ten-ing tooo meee?"

But David wasn't listening to him. He was in his own little world as he stared at what he thought had to be the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on: Carly Smithson. He watched her every move as she walked over to the table where the employees would usually play Peruno when they had spare time. If only she knew how much I care for her, he thought. Oh, what I would give to make her mine. What I would... Then he noticed that there was someone coming towards her sitting in the seat next to her. Someone with a very large head. Someone dressed in jeans and a gray t-shirt. Then he mentally gasped. He knew who it was. It was Michael. He frowned. The look he gave Carly when they were last in San Francisco was still fresh in his mind, and he still didn't like it. "What does he want with my Carly?" he asked aloud, unaware that he did so and in front of Jason.

David's comment confused Jason. "Your Carly?" he questioned with a hint of suspicion.

Then David quickly got out of his little dream world and focused his brain on reality and came to realize that he had asked this question aloud as well as in his mind. And what was worse was that he had said it in front of Jason, who was now questioning him about it's meaning. Then he quickly turned to Jason. "Uh, what I meant to say is, um, well... uh, w-what does he want with my Carly, uh, candy! Uh, yeah. That's it. Candy," he pathetically lied.

Fortunately for him, Jason was no Albert Einstein. "Oh. You said candy. Haha. For a minute there, I thought you said Carly. Boy, am I ever dumb today. Anyway, why don't you just go ask him?"

David gave a sigh of relief that Jason didn't suspect anything anymore and said, "You're right! I should ask him! And you know what? I think I will! Talk to you later Jas!" Then he ran off towards the table that Carly and Michael were talking at. During this, Michael was sweet talking to Carly. After he sat down next to her, he looked her in the eyes and said in his amazing accent, "Hey beautiful."

"Hey retard," she responded rudely. "Did you forget what I did to you yesterday for saying stuff like that?"

Michael felt like his smile just got slapped off his face. He indeed remembered that, and he didn't want it to happen again. He got enough of that back in San Francisco. Then he remembered a part of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest where Jack tried to convince Elizabeth that they were similar and tried to coax a kiss out of her. This caused a smile to break out onto his face again. Then he looked kindly at Carly and simply said, "I do remember, but I didn't finish telling you something."

"That this is some sort of sick joke you're trying to do to get Mr. Cook's formulas that my best friend David knows?" she asked in a way much like Danny's normal voice.

"No. I just didn't get to telling we're a lot alike, you and I. You and me. We two. Us."

Carly saw where this was going, so she decided to play along as the part of Elizabeth and get him to where he can't win. She grew a smile of her own, only this was a smile of deceit rather than pleasure. "Of course we're similar," she said with a slight touch of darkness in her Irish accent. "Except for our size, height, weight, age, moral values, political beliefs, birth places..."

"Trifles, my dear. Trifles," he said, brushing off her comments.

"And the fact that you're married and I'm not," Carly added.

"And as I've stated before; a marriage to someone across the globe doesn't really count as a real marriage."

"But it's a marriage nonetheless."

Just then, David got over to the two of them and they turned their attention to him. Carly looked at him and smiled. It was like her little knight in shining armor coming to save her from a cursed warlock of evil through her eyes. Through Michael's eyes, however, he saw him as a nuisance and a threat to his conversation with Carly and the good possibilities that would follow. He glared at him. "What do you want, stalker?" he asked rudely.

This comment not only hurt David on the inside, but Carly as well. How dare he talk to David like that, and he didn't even say a word to him yet! But David decided to go on anyway. "I just wanted to know what you two were talking about," he said.

Michael looked at the kid. For a moment, he thought he was looking at both him and Carly as he was talking. But when he looked a bit closer, he noticed that David wasn't even looking at him. Michael noticed that David's eyes were looking deeply into Carly's. Then he looked at Carly and noticed that her own beautiful icy blue eyes were returning that same starry-eyed look to his hazel ones. He thought for a moment as to why they might be looking at each other like that, and then it hit him: They loved each other. Then he thought back. He did recall seeing the two of them together a lot when he was spying on David back in San Francisco in hopes of discovering Cook's secret formulas. At the Cooks in the Kitchen, at the beach, and in her house too. Then Michael realized that he was in trouble. (After all, wouldn't you be in trouble too if you were flirting with the girl of someone else's dreams that she loved back?)

After a few minutes of silence between the three of them, Carly finally opened her mouth to say, "We were just talking about, uh... things! Right Michael?"

Michael didn't quite get what she meant. "Huh?" Then she nudged him hard with her elbow. "Ow!" he cried. Now he got it. "Um, I mean, uh, yeah! Sure! We were talking about, er, things!"

David didn't exactly buy their story, but he didn't want them to let on that he had suspicions that they were up to something, so he pretended to go along with it. "Oh. Things, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Michael answered.

"What kind of things?" David asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, uh..." But fortunately for Michael, Jason cut him off just before he could think of anything to say.

"Hey David!" Jason shouted.

"What is it Jason?"

"Danny said he has a job for us to do in the basement and he told me to get you to come down there right away. He said it was an important job that Simon told us to do."

As you can imagine, David didn't want to disobey Simon's orders, so he left right away with Jason. The two of them raced down to the bottom most part of the place where most of the supplies were kept. Then they saw Danny at the very end of the walkway. They came up to him, eager to figure out what important job Simon specifically gave them. "Alright Danny. We're both here and we're ready to do the labor that our boss Simon Cowell has put upon us," said David.

"Well don't excite yourselves too much, 'cause you might actually find this un-enjoyable." He said flatly. Then he put on a fake smile and said in an unusually happy tone, "Now, are you ready to find out what exciting job the boss has given you?"

"Oh yeah!" David and Jason yelled excitedly.

"Simon has given you two idiots... I mean, lucky men, the job to paint this entire room!"

Then David and Jason jumped up and shouted happily, "Hooray!"

"Well, you two enjoy yourselves. I've got to get back up and wipe off all the windows and screens and other crap." Then he started up the stairs laughing at his little scheme. "Those idiots will be down there all day painting that room and at last give me some peace. And when Simon finds out about what they did, he'll be so mad at them that he'll probably send them to jail for vandalism!" Then he started laughing again, but he was interrupted by David tapping on his shoulder. Then he stopped and turned around to see David and Jason standing behind him. "What the hell? What are you two still doing here? Didn't I tell you two to get to painting that room?"

"You did, but you didn't tell us which color Simon wanted the basement."

"What? I don't know what color and I don't care!"

"But Simon cares. After all, it is his basement. So what color did he want it?"

"I don't know! Pink! Black! Pink and black! Anything! Just paint it!"

"Oh, okay." Then Danny turned to go and was about to go up the other set of stairs that led to the main floor, and then David shouted after him again. "Danny?"

"What now?"

"Does Simon want any sort of pattern for the walls? Like stripes, or swirls, or polka-dots?"

"Checkers!" he shouted. Then he stormed up the stairs and headed to the awaiting sponge and window cleaner and started cleaning the stage's background screen.

After Danny had left, the two friends looked at each other. "Checkers? Wow! That Simon Cowell's a genius!" Jason exclaimed. Then the two of them turned around and went down to the lower room that Danny told them to paint.

"Do you have any brushes with you Jason?"

"Hold on. Let me check." Then Jason reached deep into the right pocket of his blue jeans so that the pocket practically swallowed Jason's arm. He felt around a little until he finally said, "Aha!" Then he pulled out two decent sized paint brushes. David grabbed one of those brushes opened the black can of paint, gently dipped his brush into the can, turned around and started painting the wall with the black checkers.

Not long after, on the main floor, Simon came to see if his newest workers were doing their jobs correctly. He looked over at Mr. Cook, who was fixing a broken chair at the judge's table. He seemed to be doing fine. Next he checked up on Ramiele, who was keeping a look out the window with Archy in her arms. The two of them were vigilantly on the lookout for birds, so they were doing their jobs well. Then he checked on Kristy Lee, Carly and Michael who were checking to make sure that all the microphone stands were still well put together. Michael and Carly were doing a fine job with that, but Kristy Lee drew attention to herself by smiling at Simon and blowing a kiss at him. Creped out by her actions, he turned his attention away from her and checked to see if David, Jason and Danny were cleaning the glass objects. He saw Danny, but he didn't see the other two anywhere. Curious as to where they were, Cowell made his way down towards where Danny was working. "Mister Danny, where are the other two that are supposed to be working with you?" he asked.

Seeing his chance to see David and Jason get in trouble, he simply told him, "Oh. David and Jason are in the basement. They're doing something else that I think you'll find most shocking."

Simon frowned. He didn't like the sound of that, so he walked right down the stairs to figure out what they were doing exactly. As he did, David and Jason had figured out an easier way to paint checkers on the walls. David took his brush, dipped it in the black paint, then started drawing checkers with it in the pink paint. And just like in an old cartoon, the paint turned into black and pink checkers without having to do twice the work with painting the checkers. As soon as David and Jason finished hi-fiving each other for their brilliant discovery, they heard the dreaded sound of a chubby, angry man with the sound of pie rumbling in his stomach coming their way. "Oh crap!" David gasped. "It's Simon! He's coming down to see if we've finished painting yet, and we're not even halfway done yet! Hurry Jason! Grab your brush and start painting the walls!" Then they grabbed their brushes, dipped them into the newly-made black and pink checkered paint, and started sloppily painting the closest things to them. The sound was getting closer. "Hurry Jason! He's coming!" Then they sped up their work and got even sloppier. Then Simon got even closer and David and Jason were freaking out and sent paint flying everywhere onto everything in sight! "Hurry Jason! Hurry hurry hurry!" David shouted.

"I'm painting as fast as I can, David!" Jason shouted back. Then Jason got so freaked out that he shouted, "Doh! This is taking too long!" Then he grabbed the bucket of checkered paint and chucked it just as the unsuspecting Simon Cowell stepped into the room! Then before he knew it, Simon had black and pink checkered paint dripping all over him, from his box head, all the way down to his big feet! To put it simply; Simon Cowell was a black and pink checker painted Avril Lavigne wannabe mess!

Unaware that Jason was going to do that and throw the paint bucket at their boss, David went over to take the paint can off of Simon's head. When he did, he saw that Simon was staring at the both of them meanly. "Uh, sorry Simon," he said apologetically.

Simon didn't answer. He was too mad at the monkey boy and the dread-locks barer to say anything without it being to all nonsense words or without containing words that would turn this T rated fiction into an unrated one in a split second. "What in the name of crumpets do you two infernal idiots think you're doing?" he boomed.

"We were just painting the basement like you told us to do, boss," David told him.

"Like I told you to do?" he repeated angrily. "Like I told you to do?"

"Yeah, with black and pink checkers just like you said, sir."

"Black and pink checkers? I'd tell you idiots to lick the sides of the place clean and spit-polish the stage sooner than tell you two to paint the basement with black and pink checkers!"

"But Danny said that you said that you said to him that he said to us that you wanted us to paint this room with black and pink checkers," Jason explained.

Simon's facial features looked crueler and meaner, if that was even possible. "So mister Danny told you to do this, did he now?"

David nodded. "Mm-hmm. Those were his words exactly. Well, not exactly his words, seeing how he didn't say it like that and...come to think of it, those weren't his words at all because they were your orders, so they'd be your words exactly. Well, I wouldn't say that either because I wasn't there when you said that so..."

Ignoring David's nonsense talk, Simon immediately shouted at the top of his lungs, "Danny!"

At the sound of Simon Cowell's voice, Danny cringed and said to himself, "Oh crap. This can't be good."

[shannon4fb]

Chapter 6: Changes

After Simon yelled at Danny and demanded that he help David and Jason clean up the black and pink checkered mess then get to doing his other job, Simon walked back up to the top deck, went into his room and slammed the door behind him. Why me? he thought to himself. As if Paula leaving me, becoming this hated man and being separated from the outside world but once every two years wasn't enough? Now I have a team of incompetent morons working for me. And what's worse, they're my employees for the entire month! Then he pulled out a wash cloth and started wiping off the paint that Jason had splattered all over him. He started with his face, and once he did that as best he could, he moved on to his box cut. He started cleaning himself up when he noticed that a hand was helping clean him up as well. But it wasn't his hand. This hand was smaller and cleaner and smoother than his own. His eyes followed the hand so he could figure out who was doing this and found that it was Kristy Lee Cook. He turned his head to her.

She smiled. "You looked like quite a mess when you came out, so I decided to help you out a bit," she said sweetly.

Simon glared at her and used his hand to take the washcloth out of her grasp. "Thank you very much, but I do not need your help," he said coldly. Then he turned his back to her and continued cleaning himself up. Then he looked at her from the corner of his eyes and noticed that she wasn't leaving. "Is there any other reason as to why you're in here?" he asked, pretending to be interested.

Kristy Lee smiled a little, then looked at the wall and nervously rubbed the back of her head a bit. As she looked at the wall, she said a bit shyly, "Well, I, um, was wondering if you were, uh, busy tonight." Then she looked at him. "Are you?"

He looked away and started cleaning up his hands. "I could be. Why?"

Kristy Lee's smile grew a little and continued. "Well, I was thinking that if you weren't that maybe you and I could do something together."

As she said this, he stopped. Was she... asking him out? On a date? Simon felt a bit more creped out by her than usual and simply said, "Yes. I am busy. Very busy."

Kristy Lee took her hand away from her neck and looked down. "Oh. Okay," she said with a bit of disappointment in her voice. Then she turned around and left. As she came out of his room, David, Danny and Jason came up from the basement and were talking about the other job that their master put on Danny.

"Gee Danny. I feel bad for you," said David.

"As if working for three hours with you dickheads cleaning up paint on the walls wasn't enough, now he's got me cleaning after his queer-ass pet too?"

"Well it could be worse, Danny," David told him, trying to cheer him up a bit.

"Yeah. You could be not getting paid for heavy labor and be far away from home," Jason added, trying to help, but it obviously didn't because all that was true.

"Well, I better get over to his pet's room and start mopping up after the animal," Danny said monotony as he grabbed a bucket and a mop. "Don't come for me if I die, unless the gorilla eats me. Then you can come after me." And with that, he left for the elevator that would take him and Mr. Cook to the upper floor where Simon's pet gorilla was. As he did, he looked back at the main floor and saw Jason stupidly waving goodbye to him. Danny snorted and chose to ignore him.

"There goes one brave guy," Jason said after the elevator doors closed. Then he turned around and saw that David was, once again, not listening to him. He was looking at Carly, who was playing solitaire with a deck of cards that he gave her for Christmas. At first, she didn't notice him, than she looked up for a second and noticed his cute, little, hazel eyes. She looked at those eyes and noticed their look. They were gently reflecting the sunlight from the windows and were staring at something with a certain passion in them. She wondered what they were looking at. They were looking in her direction; somewhere to where she was…something close beside her. He was staring at something, but she couldn't figure out what it was. Then it came to her: those gorgeous hazel eyes were staring at her!

When she finally noticed this, she saw that David was coming towards her. She panicked. Was he going to say what she wanted him to for eight years? What would she say when he did? What would happen after that? She freaked out! She didn't know what to do! She started nervously shuffling her cards, not noticing that half of them were face up and face down. Then she accidentally shuffled them so much that when David finally came over to her, she accidentally sent the cards flying everywhere! Then she finally came to her senses and realized what she did in her panic state, she quickly became sane again and said, "Oh shit! Sorry!" Then she knelt down and starting picking them up, one card at a time.

"No that's okay," said David gently. Then he got down on his knees and helped her. Then he looked at her. Now was his big chance to tell her his true feelings for her, and he was going to take it. "Carly?"

"Yeah David?"

"Um, there's this one thing I've been meaning to tell you for a while now..."

"Well, what is it?" she asked, secretly hoping that what he wanted to say were the three words that she dreamed about him saying for years.

"Carly, I... I..." He hesitated. That hint of doubt came back again, and now it was stronger than ever since he saw her talking to Michael. Then he started to cry a little. What if she didn't love him at all? What if she loved Michael instead? They did have quite a bit in common, seeing how they were both once college students that know about art and technology. He couldn't bare that kind of torture; seeing Carly with someone else. It was just too horrible to bear! Perhaps that was how Simon felt when he came back to the outside world and found his one love, Paula, gone? Perhaps. And David saw how broken-hearted he was. He neared suicide in an attempt to escape the pain he felt after that. Then he thought, Could that happen to me if Carly doesn't return my feelings? Will I turn into a monster that sees life as nothing but cruelty? He didn't know. He held back the words he desperately wanted to say until he couldn't anymore until he finally burst into tears and cried, "I love you!" Then he covered his eyes with his hands and started covering the table with tears. "I love you, Carly! I love you! I love you so much and you can never make me think otherwise! Oh Carly, I've held those words inside of me for eight years, wishing they'd come out sometime and now they have! Oh ho ho ho!"

Carly was surprised. She'd wanted him to say those words for years, but she never thought she'd hear him cry them out. But she couldn't understand why he was crying. She gently wrapped her arm around him and sat by his side. "David? What are you crying for?"

"Because I saw you with Michael today," he sniffed. "I-I saw the way he looked at you back in San Francisco, a-and... and I..."

"What? Michael? David, is that what this is all about?"

David finally took his hands away from his face, wiped away a tear, looked at her and sniffed. "Uh huh."

"David, that's no reason to cry. He's just a huge pile of crap whose ego is bigger than Ireland. I don't love him and I never ever could." Then she wrapped her other arm around him and pulled him into a hug. "I love you." And with that, she leaned into him and gently pressed her lips against his. David was stunned. His first kiss and it was with the girl that he loved more than anything that loved him back just as much! He returned her kiss and his mind separated the two of them from the rest of the world. He didn't care that everyone was watching them. He didn't care that Mr. Cook gasped at the sight of the two of them together. He didn't care that Michael was frowning at the sight of them. He didn't care that Jason was completely shocked beyond words about his best friend kissing someone who thought he was dumb. He didn't care! He only cared about this one moment with Carly. David wanted it to never end, but he and Carly both knew that all good things have to come to an end. When they stopped, they sat there looking at each other as they held each other in their arms. They felt like they could've stayed like that forever... until they heard Simon playing his organ. It was loud and a bit sinister sounding; the perfect music to take them out of their loving state. Everyone turned to Simon's room as they heard the organ's music. "What a way to bring us out of our moment," Carly said sarcastically.

"Oh come now. It's not so bad," Kristy Lee protested.

"But it's boring. Like Danny," Jason stated. "Besides, would it kill him to play a little rock 'n' roll or pop or hip-hop on that thing?"

"I don't know and I don't want to find out. Let's just get to work," David told them. He didn't want to upset Simon even more than when Jason splattered paint all over him.

"I hate to say this, but the hippie one's right! This music is boring!" Michael protested.

Ramiele nodded. "I agree. It's not upbeat or cheerful. It's like music you listen to at a funeral!"

"Woof woof!" Archy added.

Then David gasped. "Archy! How dare you say that about Simon! Either way we should be doing our jobs and leave him alone!" But when he said this, he noticed that Jason, Michael and Ramiele were already headed towards Simon's room and had already gone inside. Nervous that they'd do something terrible to get them in even more trouble, David and Carly chased after them. Then they finally got into Simon's room and watched what they were about to do.

At the moment, they were arguing over which one of them would actually tell Simon that they weren't satisfied with the music he was playing. None of them wanted to be fall victim to his wrath, but they didn't want to hear the deep depressing music that he was currently playing either. "So...which one of us is going to tell him to face the music, no pun intended?" Ramiele asked in the form of a whisper.

"Well, I think it should be you. You're the cutest one here," said Michael.

"Oh, thank you...wait! What? No way! I say Jason should do it! He's the dumbest!" Ramiele protested with Danny's style of attitude.

Just then, Jason got an idea. (I know. Shocking, right?) "How about we play 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' to decide who tells him?"

Surprised that Jason actually came up with something, Michael and Ramiele looked bug-eyed at him in amazement with their mouths wide open. That actually sounded like a good idea, for once. Then they shook it off and nodded in agreement. "The winner gets to tell him to change his tune, also no pun intended. Okay?" Ramiele asked. Michael and Jason gulped and nodded in agreement, and then they started. Jason chose paper, Ramiele chose rock, and Michael chose scissors. After realizing that none of them were the winners or the losers, they tried again. Jason still chose paper, Ramiele chose scissors (ironic seeing how she fears sharp objects), and Michael chose rock. Still seeing that there was no winner or a loser, Ramiele got an idea; "Tell ya what; why don't we split the duty of telling him? Michael can get his attention, and then Jason can tell him off."

"Then what do you do, Ramiele?" Jason asked.

"I'll stay behind you and give you the moral support."

"Oh, okay." Obviously Jason didn't know that what she meant was that she pretty much doesn't do anything, but Jason was just okay that he had an answer that wasn't "nothing".

But Michael, being a college student and not as gullible as Jason, didn't fall for it. "How about I get his attention, then both of you tell him off?"

Knowing that somehow Michael would protest about his job, Ramiele sighed and said, "Alright. Deal. But you have to get his attention first!" Then she made a quick jerking motion and accidentally pushed Michael right onto the floor right next to the chair that Simon was sitting in.

Michael gulped and stood up. In his frightened mine, Simon looked a lot taller even though he was sitting down. Michael shuddered to think of how tall Simon would look when he was standing up, but he put that away from his thoughts, took a deep breath, and leaned against Simon's chair. Then he took a few deep breaths before getting his attention. After relaxing himself, he cleared his throat and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Simon Cowell, sir?" But he couldn't hear Michael over his organ music. He didn't even notice him. "Excuse me?" Michael called again, a little bit louder. No answer."Excuse me?" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Not even a glance. Then Michael collapsed down onto his butt and sighed. "Oh, I give up!" he cried. Then he noticed that not to far away from him, there was a locket. The same locket that Michael had seen pictures of that was the only matching pair to Paula's! Michael saw his chance to get Simon's attention and grabbed the locket's chain and called out as loud as he could, "Yo box head! Is this thing yours?" Then he opened it up and the locket's sad song began to play.

When the music started playing, Simon immediately stopped and looked at Michael. Then, before anyone knew it, Michael was being grabbed at by his arm from Simon's hand and was face to face with the devil himself. Michael was still holding the chain that was attached to the locket and the music was now echoing throughout the now silent room. Michael looked at Simon in fear of what he'd do to him next. As Simon stared coldly at the Australian man that was in his fist's hold, he used his other hand to snatch the locket from Michael and gently, but firmly, closed it. "Do not under any circumstances, touch that locket! And unless you have a death wish with me, I suggest you seriously consider the consequences that would face you if you ever do it again! Do you understand, Michael?"

Michael was in so much shock that he was at a loss for words. All he could do was stare at him with his eyes in fear and hold his mouth as open as it could go. But despite this, Michael managed to grimly nod without changing his expression. But despite what just happened to her ex-boyfriend, Kristy Lee looked at Simon with a smile on her face. He's even more attractive when he's mad, she thought to herself.

Jason, oblivious to how much trouble he could get them in, decided to carry out their plan. "Uh, Cowell?"

Simon turned to Jason and let go of Michael's arm. He now directed his anger at Jason. "What do you want?"

"Well, we have a complaint about your choice of music to play as we're working."

"We?"

"Yeah. Me and..." but as Jason turned around to point out Ramiele, he found that nobody was standing behind him. They had all left in fear of getting in trouble with the already angry British horror. Despite this, Jason went on. "Well, uh, I would like to complain about your choice of music, then."

"And what complaint would that be, Mister Jason?"

When he asked this, Jason walked past him and looked at his organ. "Can't you play any rock-pop songs on this thing? Like Changes?"

Simon looked a bit puzzled. He had never heard of that song. (This was surprising seeing how he knows a lot of songs since he's an American Idol judge.) "Changes?"

"Yep. Changes," Jason explained. "It's this great song performed by Butterfly Boucher that also features the great David Bowie. This song was used in the hit movie Shrek 2 and is also in the movie's soundtrack. Let me show you how the piano part in the first verse sounded." Then Jason sat down in Simon's chair and started pounding his hands away at the keys.

When he did this, Simon and the rest of the team all covered their ears in an attempt to block out the terrible sound. (Except for Archy. He tucked into a cardboard box hidden on the stage.) Then David and Carly came in to Simon's room to find Jason practically breaking the precious organ's keys. "Jason? What in the name of leprechauns do you think your doing?" Carly shouted.

At the sound of Carly's voice, Jason stopped and turned toward the Irish girl and the short boy. "I was just showing Simon here how to play Changes by Butterfly Boucher featuring David Bowie."

Simon snorted. "If that's how the song really goes, then I don't want to hear it."

David shook his head. "Oh no, Simon, sir. That isn't how it goes at all. That's more like country or rap. Pop-rock is completely different. It's much better. And that isn't even close to how it goes Jason!"

"It isn't?"

"No! Now move over and I'll show you how it's really done." Jason obeyed and got out of Simon's chair and David sat down in it. "Do you still have the drum set and viola with you, Jas?"

"I sure do." Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a viola and a drum set. He gave Carly the viola and he seated himself behind the drums. Then as soon as David gave them a count to three, they started singing:

"Still don't know what I was lookin' for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets."

Then David sang alone: "Every time I thought I'd got it made. It seemed the taste was not so sweet."

Then Jason sang alone too: "So I turned myself to face me. But I've never caught a glimpse."

Then Carly: "Of how the others must see the faker. I'm much too fast to take that test"

Then together again: "Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't want to be a richer one
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different one
Time may change me
But I can't trace time."

Then David turned to Carly and started singing solo again as he shred into her eyes: "I watch the ripples change their size, but never leave the stream of warm impermanence."

Carly returned his look and sang too: "So the days float through my eyes. But still the days seem the same."

Then the two of them sang together: "And these children that you spit on, as they try to change their worlds."

Then Jason joined in again: "They're immune to your consultations."

David went solo again: "They're quite aware of what they're going through."

Then Jason went solo too: "Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!"

Then they sang together again: "Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time."

David and Carly sang together again: "Strange fascination, fascinating me. Ah changes are taking the pace I'm going through."

Then Carly lead the refrain: "Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!"

Then they all finished the song off together: "Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time."

When they finished, they all looked at Simon to see his reaction. "So, how was it?" David asked.

Cowell's reaction was that he threw all three of them out and they all fell flat out against the carpeted floor just as Danny was coming back from his gorilla-cleaning duties. When he saw Jason, Carly and David fall onto their faces, he smiled. "What's the matter with you three? Did you tell the boss that you liked Ryan Seacrest better than him or something?"

Then they got themselves off of the floor. "No," answered David. "But we figured something out about Simon: he doesn't like the song Changes by Butterfly Boucher and David Bowie."

Just then, Simon opened the door to his room again. "And take this with you too." Then he threw Michael straight across the floor until he went smack against the wall.

Then Jason looked at David. "I guess Simon doesn't like pop-rock either."

David turned to his best friend. "I guess not. But, I think there is one song he'd appreciate."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You see Jason; after Simon threw us out and made us fall face-first against the carpet, I realized something."

"What's that?"

"I realized that he only likes music that's not popular on radios."

"But what good music is there that isn't on the radio?"

"A lot of stuff, Jason. There is one song that hasn't failed to please anyone yet. Come on, Jason! We're gonna need more practice for this one." Then the both of them stood up and started figuring out a plan for their next song.

[shannon4fb]

Chapter 7: Monkey Business

Simon was sitting down at his organ again and back to playing it. He could hardly imagine what had just happened to him and all the trouble that these simple-minded people were causing him. First sending off my employees to Hawaii for a month, then waking me up at five o' three in the morning by singing some weird horrid turtle music, followed by painting the basement with black and pink checkers along with myself, not long after the Australian one takes my locket and starts carelessly fooling around with it, and then the baby-face, Irish girl and hippie start playing that pop-rock crap! What's next? He was about to find out, for not long after he asked himself this question, he heard another piece of music start. Simon frowned. He knew who was responsible, where he probably was, and more or less why he was doing it. Simon got out of his chair and walked out to the stage to see David and the gang playing all sorts of instruments and singing in what seemed like gibberish. Then he looked at them and yelled "What the heck do you think you're doing?"

At the sound of his voice, everyone stopped what they were doing. "We're performing the hit internet song I am a Gummy Bear! It's it great?" Then the singing started again: "Oh I'm a gummy bear.
Yes I'm a gummy bear.
Oh I'm a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear.
I'm a jelly bear.
Cause I´m a gummy bear.
Oh I'm a movin' groovin' jammin' singing gummy bear.
Oh yeaoooh."

At this point, Simon was pretty ticked off. But rather than killing David right on the spot, he decided to do something else. "Mister Danny! Come forward, please! That is, if you value your life."

I really don't value it anymore, Danny thought to himself.

"Mister Danny!" he called again.

At the second time, Danny immediately took an overly exaggerated step forward. "Right here, sir!"

"Good. I want a word with you." Then he glared at everyone else coldly, and they got the hint to leave. "Now Danny. I understand that you do not enjoy being with the annoying baby-faced, monkey boy that is David Archuleta, do I not?"

Danny looked at him with his attitude-filled green eyes. "You got that right. You think he's bad now? Try living next to him for over ten years and have him be one of your co-workers. He's just as annoying!"

Simon mentally shuddered at the thought of David being so annoying, but he didn't show it. "So you do hate the kid, do you not?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because I have another job for you, and I think you will actually enjoy this one if you hate him so much."

Danny perked up a little, then his lips curled into a dark grin and he cocked his head a little "Try me."

Meanwhile, David and Carly were sitting at the tables that she and Michael were sitting at hours ago. They held each others hands, looked into each others eyes and leaned their faces in so that they were cheek to cheek. "Eight years," David said. "Eight years I've been waiting to tell you those words..."

"And today you just figured out that I've had the same feelings for you for just as long," she finished for him.

"Yeah. And to think that..."

"That we hadn't told each other these feelings for so long?"

David laughed. "Yeah. You know, it's funny. We're already..."

"Finishing each others' sentences like in those movies?" Then they laughed together at how silly this sounded, but their laughter was shattered by someone's shadow creeping across their faces and blocking the sunlight that was so recently shining upon their bright faces through the windows. They looked away from each other and found that it was Danny.

"Danny? What are you doing?" David asked. But Danny didn't answer. He walked over to David and took him by his elbow and dragged him away. "Danny? Where are we going?" He still didn't answer. Then he picked David up and pushed him against one of the railings of the lounge that overlooked the stage. David grabbed onto it and held on for his feet were now felt unusually weak as if they'd give way the minute he stood up without anything supporting him. "Danny? What's going on? What are you doing?" He turned his head just enough so that out of the corner of his eye he could see Danny's right hand steadily holding the same whip that Simon used the whip Ryan Seacrest when season two started.

At the sight of this, Carly's eyes widened and she rushed over and grabbed Danny's wrist and held it back. "No!" she shouted. "I won't let you hurt him!"

"What the hell? Let me go!" Danny shouted. He tried wriggling his hand out of Carly's grasp, but she was too strong.

"Don't you dare think about hurting him!" Then she pressed her foot against Danny's back and twisted his arm.

"Ow! But it's my job to do it! I'm supposed to whip him till he bleeds! Those are my orders!" he cried out in defense.

Then she let go and let him fall limply to the floor. "Then take me instead! I can take anything for him!"

Overhearing what was going on, Simon decided to interfere just like he did before. "Will you now? And what would prompt such an act of charity, Miss Smithson?"

Carly looked at him and her attitude went from one that was almost untamable to one of shyness. Then David, who saw Carly's whole tussle with Danny, spoke up. "Don't do it, Carly. I can take it."

"No you can't David! You're too sensitive!"

"I can take it," he protested.

Then Carly looked at him with a few tears in her eyes. "I don't care if you can take it or not. It'll hurt me! It may not on the outside, but on the inside it'll tear me apart! I don't care if you can take it or not, David! I can't bear to see you in pain! I love you!" Then she gasped at the last words she said. David knew that she'd say that if she didn't stop. He knew she would.

Then Simon stepped between David and Carly and looked at Carly. Then he looked at David. Then at Carly. Then David. Then Carly again. "Might I inquire as to why you, a strong and powerful 21 year old Irish lady chose a small and sensitive 19 year old boy?"

Carly frowned. "It doesn't matter who you are or how old you are, when it comes to love. For as long as you both truly love each other, that's all that matters."

"And if it's not the right one?"

"Well then you should know that, wouldn't you, Simon?"

Then from out of nowhere, Jason came in between Simon and Carly, pointed at Simon and said, "Buuuuurrrrrrn! You got served!" Then Simon and Carly both looked coldly at Jason and he left. Then Carly and Simon changed their look from Jason to each other.

"Look, maybe we can arrange some sort of an agreement so that we're both satisfied with the results. Now I have a suggestion for you: You let David and Jason go upstairs to help Danny out with taking care of your gorilla."

"What?" Danny shouted in shock. He had enough of David and Jason in the studio and when he went upstairs to take care of Simon's pet, he was actually relieved to be away from them. But if they did the work with him, he knew he wouldn't get any peace.

Simon, however, was interested in this bargain. This part of the bargain would pain Danny, despite the fact that he had somewhat empathy for his hatred against the two idiots. "And in return?" Simon asked.

Then Carly smiled a little. "How about I teach you some moves?"

This time, David was the one to shout in surprise. "What?"

Carly's comment took Simon by surprise as well. "By that, do you mean...?"

"I'll show you when we're alone. That is, if we have a deal." Then she looked at him and raised one of her eyebrows. "Do we?"

Simon looked at her for a moment, and then he looked at David whose eyes were now almost completely out of their sockets. Then he smirked. He knew this would hurt him. Then he turned to Carly and said, "Agreed."

Once he said this, David's eyes popped completely out of their sockets and rolled jumped around on the floor like bouncy balls. Danny ran over to Simon and started to protest his latest agreement. "But Mr. Cowell! I..." But before he knew it, Simon grabbed his neck and looked at Danny in such a threatening way that he quickly changed his attitude and said, "...would be delighted with showing them how to care for a gorilla." When he said this, Simon removed his hand from Danny's neck and he added, "Speaking of which, we should get started right away." Then Danny walked away and started pushing Jason towards the elevator that he used to get to the gorilla's room.

When he did, Simon walked away and David put his eyeballs back in their sockets and came up to Carly. "Carly? Are you sure you want to do this? I could've taken the whippings. I could've."

"And be screaming about the pain and wait for hours for the stinging to stop?"

Her words took him by surprise. "Well, maybe..."

"Listen David. I've saved you from a worse fate, just be grateful for that."

"I'm not worried about me right now, Carly. I'm worried about you and your part of the agreement!"

"David, I'll be alright. Now you just go out there and do your part of the agreement. I can take care of myself."

"But Carly..."

"Go!" And without another word, he left.

When the three of them finally got upstairs where Simon kept his pet, Danny started telling his two neighbors all about how to take care of the gorilla. "Now first of all, you have to call it over to you by whistling for it so we can get started."

"Okay," David said eagerly. "What kind of a whistle?"

"What do you mean what kind of whistle?"

"Well there's more than one type of whistle, Danny. We need to know which kind in order to get it over here. Now, is it a whistle like a slide whistle? Or a dog whistle?"

"How about a cat whistle?" Jason asked.

"Jason, there's no such thing as a cat whistle," Danny said in a monotone way.

"Yes there is! People used to do it all the time at school whenever a pretty girl walked by. Which is weird 'cause they weren't cats at all but that's what it's called."

"Jason, that's a cat call, not a cat whistle," Danny corrected. Then he sighed and said, "Just watch me." Then he gave a long, loud whistle. Moments later, the floor started shaking and lights hanging from the ceiling started swinging. David and Jason had to hang on to a nearby pole to prevent themselves from losing their balance. Seconds later, they saw the gorilla's huge head come out from inside a closet and show itself. "Now," Danny continued, "We have to check it carefully to make sure that it doesn't have anything stuck in its hair that could irritate it, like a giant splinter or something. So, you guys start looking while I stand over here where it's safe."

"But Danny, aren't you going to show us how to remove a splinter from it in case we do find one so that we won't hurt it?" David asked.

"Hmm, let me think... No."

"Okay then." So David and Jason tip-toed over to the giant beast and started examining its hair. As they did, Danny giggled to himself about his little prank that might actually get them attacked. But his laughter was soon interrupted when he saw David and Jason pulling at a big piece of wood that was stuck in one of the gorilla's hands and couldn't help but to notice that they were doing it all wrong.

"No no no, you dimwits! Back off!" he shouted. Then he walked over to them and started pulling at the piece of splintered wood out of the beast himself. "This... is... how... it's... done!" Then he finally pulled it out, but then he also noticed that when he pulled it out, he pulled off some of the hair that it was attatched to as well. "Oh my God," was all he managed to say before the beast used its other hand to grab Danny and continually pound his head against a hard floor.

When it put him down, Danny limply plopped down onto the floor and David and Jason looked down at him. "Was that the 'don't do this, or else that happens' part of the lesson Danny?" Jason asked.

Danny managed to get up and said, "Sure. Let's go with that. Now, onto the next part. Now we have to feed it this weird, smelly, gooey stuff that Simon made for it. Now I'll go get the food while you two keep it busy."

"Keep it busy? How do we do that?"

"I don't care! Just find something for it to do!" Then he left before they could ask anything else.

When Danny left, Jason turned to David. "David? How do you entertain a gorilla?"

"I dunno. I've never owned a gorilla before."

"Well what do you do with Archy?"

"Well, most of the time I find his favorite fetching stick and play fetch. But I don't know where we would find a..." But before he could finish, Jason already managed to pry off one of his dreads of hair and started shaking it teasingly and whistling.

"Here gorilla-ape thingy! Here boy!" And just like a dog, the gorilla looked at the piece of hair and started watching it eagerly.

"Jason, you're a genius! Throw it and see what it does!"

Jason obeyed and said, "Go fetch it, boy!" Then Jason threw the "stick" as far as he could. And just like that, the gorilla went after it. Seconds later, it came back with the lock of hair in it's mouth, dropped it at David and Jason's feet, and looked at them with a certain look in its eyes the way a puppy would. Amazed by Jason's discovery, David decided that he wanted to try it for himself. He picked it up and did it exactly like Jason.

"You want the hair boy? Do you want the hair? Huh? Well go get it boy!" Then he threw it with all his might. And just like before, it went off, came back, dropped it by their feet, and waited for them to throw it again.

"My turn! My turn!" Jason shouted happily. They took turns for ten minutes throwing Jason's hair to the beast until Danny showed up pushing a giant wooden container full of an odorous pink-orange goop to the beast.

When David and Jason saw Danny with the gorilla food, David looked at the beast and said, "Alright Jimmy. Feeding time!"

"Jimmy?" Danny questioned.

"Yeah. It didn't feel right just calling him 'it' or 'the gorilla,' so we decided to call him Jimmy. We named him after my myself cause that's my middle name. Well, my middle name is James but you get the point," David explained.

"Wait, let me get this straight: While I was gone, you two nimrods didn't get eaten, and decided to name this thing Jimmy?"

"No. We played fetch too."

"Whatever. Now after this, all we have to do is clean the gorilla's... I mean Jimmy's teeth, and we're off. And don't worry about his droppings; I already took care of that."

"Okay," David said understandingly. Then he looked at Jason. "You still have that huge toothbrush and giant tube of toothpaste with you, right Jason?"

"Yup." Then he reached into his left pocket and pulled both of the items out. Then Danny gave him a weird look.

"Jason, what else is in your pocket? Dare I ask?"

"Lots of stuff. Why?"

"Nothing." Then when Jimmy finished his food, David grabbed the giant toothbrush, had Jason put on the toothpaste, and he started to brush all of the rows of teeth that the gorilla had. Then David reached into Jason's right pocket and pulled out a long piece of rope and started using it as floss for Jimmy's teeth.

"Okay, now rinse real good Jimmy. We don't want any germs in that mouth when you go to eat your next victims, do we?" Jimmy shook his head, then he sucked in as much water as he could take from his water bowl, then spat it all out on Danny.

After wiping off the water that Jimmy had spat all over him, Danny said, "That's it. We're done. Now it's time to head back." Then the three of them got into the elevator and headed back for the main floor of the studio.

As they did, David and Jason looked back at the gorilla and saw him waving goodbye. Then they waved back. "Goodbye Jimmy!" David shouted.

"We'll see you tomorrow!" yelled Jason.

That is if I don't kill you two first, Danny thought to himself.

When the three got back to the main floor, David looked around. "Carly? Carly? Where are you?"

He got his answer, but it wasn't the way he expected it. He heard Carly's voice come from somewhere. It said, "Ow! Simon! Not so hard!"

"Sorry. Carly. I'm still getting used to this."

"Well just be more careful next time! Now let's try this again."

"Carly!" David shouted. He knew that the way she said that could only mean bad news for him, so he followed her voice all the way up to the door that lead to Simon's room. He quietly listened in before opening the door.

He heard Carly's voice first. "Are you sure that this is your first time doing this?"

Then it was followed by Simon's. "I'm sure. It's my first time."

"Well you're better at this than I expected you to be." These words broke David's heart. He wished that it was all a dream and that'd he'd wake up soon to discover that they were back in San Francisco and that none of this had ever happened, but he knew that this was really happening. Then the next thing he heard was Carly making a combination of noises all put together such as grunting, gasping and shouting all together. When he heard this, he decided that enough was enough! Then without a second of thought, he took a few steps back, ran as fast as he could, and burst into the room! "Alright Simon Cowell! You can take do me as much bodily harm as you can dish out, but you can not...!" Then he noticed that Simon was holding down Carly against the floor while Carly was trying to wiggle free.

When David burst into the room, Simon and Carly stopped. Then he let go of her and avoided as much eye contact with the two of them as possible. (If David didn't know any better, Simon would have said that he was blushing and was a bit embarrassed to be seen like that with Carly.) Carly straightened herself out and dusted herself off. "Hey, David! We didn't expect you back so early or else I'd have stopped teaching earlier to come out and say hi and stuff."

David was a little confused. "Teaching?"

"Yup. Simon and I were just practicing some cage fighting until you three got back from taking care of the gorilla." Then she turned to Simon. "You know, you're quite good for this being your first time." Then Simon looked at Carly from the corner of his eyes, shrugged casually, then turned away again, his cheeks now growing a rosy pink because of her comment.

"Cage fighting? Oh! So that's what you two were doing!"

"Well yeah. Kristy taught it to me a few weeks ago. What'd you think we were doing?"

David's cheeks turned a brilliant shade of pink. "Well I, I thought you were, uh... I'll tell you later when I'm not as embarrassed for interrupting you two." Then he and Carly left the room, leaving Simon alone.

When they did, Simon's face color went back to normal and he sat down back at his organ. He knew what David thought they were doing and was a bit embarrassed (and disturbed) by the thought of it. He tried thinking of some way to get his mind off of what had just happened. He was desperate enough to try anything. Then something came to him. "Now how does that Changes song go again?"

[shannon4fb]

Chapter 8: Peace Out Man

When David and Carly got out of Simon's room they headed toward the table that they were sitting at before. "So Carly, did you two have fun practicing cage fighting while we were gone?" David asked.

Carly smiled. "Of course we did. I mean, sure he's a bit rough and started out a little slow, but outside of that, he's pretty good at it, for an British box man."

David smiled. "I'm glad that you did that for me Carly. But when you first suggested the idea to show him some 'moves', it didn't sound like you were going to teach him cage fighting."

Carly frowned a little and raised an eyebrow. "What did you think I meant by that, then?" she asked.

David was surprised that she asked him. His cheeks grew a brilliant shade of pink. "Well I, thought that you meant, um, well, uh..."

Carly didn't exactly get what he was trying to say until it dawned on her. Her eyes widened in shock. "Oh! You mean that you thought he and I were...?"

She didn't need to complete her sentence for him to know what she was going to say next. "Uh, yeah."

She shuddered at the thought. "Ew!No! Oh my God! David! I can't believe that you would think that he and I would actually do that!"

David shuddered at the thought too. "I know, but that's what it sounded like at first."

Carly shook her head. "No David. We're just friends. And besides, he's not that kind of a person. He's a gentleman and he knows that no matter what, I'd be true to you. And if he dares think otherwise, then I'm gonna have to beat him up so badly that he'll wish that he was already dead to make the pain stop."

David smiled, then he rested his arm around her shoulders. "I'm just glad you're okay. Now let's go sit down. You must be tired after spending half an hour on teaching cage fighting."

As they walked over to the tables, Simon watched the two of them from the upper lounge. He remembered when he and Paula were like that. Back ages ago. He put his arm around her the same way David was doing right now with Carly. Then they finally sat down and held each other's hands. He remembered when he and Paula used to hold hands like that. Then he noticed how David and Carly's eyes were focused on one another without ever leaving them off of the other. He and Paula used to look at each other in the same way that they were doing right now. No doubt about it, these two were in love. Or at least that's what they think, Simon thought to himself. Then the next thing he knows, she'll leave him with a broken heart wishing that he were dead. Just the way that Paula did to me.

But as he thought of those words, he took notice of the cruelty in them. Then he remembered that Carly said that she was willing to take all those whippings for David and wrestled Danny to the ground to make sure that he didn't hurt him. Then he recalled that David claimed that he could take it. A bold move indeed. But was that because he didn't want Carly to get in trouble with Simon? Perhaps. Then he remembered how Carly willingly made a deal with him to save David from his punishment; a way to prove her love to him as well. Then Simon rested his right arm against the railing and thought even more about it. Maybe they are truly in love with each other. Maybe fate meant for them to be together. Maybe they're the two in two million hearts that were truly made for each other. Then he saw David lean in closer to her and give her a kiss on her cheek, which caused her cheeks to turn a bit of a rosy pink and for her to smile at him sweetly. Maybe. Just maybe...

Simon wasn't the only one watching David and Carly. Michael and Kristy Lee were watching them too. Michael was resting his elbow on Kristy's left shoulder and was staring at the two lovers coldly. "Can you believe them, Kristy?" Michael asked aloud. "After what Carly did with Simon and David caught them doing it and they're still in love with each other! Can you believe that?"

"No, I can't," she sighed. "If I were her, I'd have left him and gone with Simon."

Michael looked at Kristy in bewilderment and disbelief (not to mention shock and disgust). That wasn't where he was getting at all, but he shook it off and continued. "If I were that little boy, I'd have left her and found someone else to love and spend the rest of my life with. Someone who will be loyal. Someone like me."

At the suggestion of himself, Kristy Lee laughed. "Oh, good one Michael! You really had me for a second there."

"I'm serious, Kristy. I think that Carly and I would make a much better couple and I'd make her much happier than that wretched fool, David would."

When he told Kristy that he was serious, she stopped and looked at him. "No offense Michael, but I don't think so. She's finally with the one she loves and she's happy with that. What makes you think that you can break those two up from such a loving relationship?"

"The powers of persuasion, Kristy Lee, the powers of persuasion. And a little science too."

"Don't do it, Michael. Not even science can break the eternal bonds of love. Especially at their level of it. If you're as smart as you say you are, you'd know that." But by the time she said this, she turned her head to where he previously was standing and found that he was now gone. Then she noticed that he was walking over to David and Carly's table. "The guy must have a death wish to deal with them now."

He didn't have a death wish, but he was gonna wish he was dead soon. He came and hopped up right in front of the happy couple. They took notice of Michael immediately and they separated and acted normally. Carly frowned. And just as I was getting comfortable, she thought as she glared at him. "What do you want this time?" she asked rudely.

"I just thought I'd like to talk to the seemingly happy couple of the studio is all," he said casually. Then he turned to David. "I'm surprised about how calm you are about this, David. After you caught Carly and Simon having their little 'moment' together earlier, I thought you'd be more upset."

Upset? he asked himself. Why would I be upset? Unless he means… Then he gasped. "Michael! Not you too!"

Carly caught on too. "You think I did that with him too?"

Michael shrugged as if he said nothing wrong. "Well it was no secret. Everyone heard you two in there..."

"Stop! Now just stop right there, Michael!" Carly shouted. She didn't want to hear anymore of what he thought they were doing because it was all a lie.

David had enough of this too. "Michael! Do you seriously think Simon would do that with Carly willingly letting him?"

Michael paused for a moment. He didn't think about that. "Well, now that you mention it..." But before he could finish, David grabbed him and bashed his head against the table until his head was bleeding all over the floor.

David and Carly stared at Michael for a moment, not saying a word, then David broke the silence by asking Carly something. "Carly? What made-up holiday is it today?"

Carly looked at a special calendar that David had given her for her birthday and read the writing that David had written below the number. "Um... it looks like today is 'Aloha Hippie' day."

David smiled. "'Aloha Hippie' day? Alright! Now we get to wear grass hula skirts and ty-dye T-shirts! I gotta tell Jason and the others to get ready to celebrate!"

By now Simon had gone back into his room and was once again playing the organ, then he heard the door to his room swing open. He turned his head around to see which one of his ridiculous crewmembers it was this time, and saw David wearing a grass hula skirt, a ty-dye T-shirt, a big pair of round purple sunglasses, and a pink and blue lei around his neck. "Aloha, Simon Cowell, m' brotha!" David exclaimed, throwing his arms outward.

"What did you just call me?" he asked. Simon's eyes weren't used to seeing such colors being worn on a person, so he looked away from the colorfully dressed nutcase, who was for some reason talking with an accent that was somewhat English like himself, but was very odd.

"Don't act all emo like that, brotha Simon. Peace!" he said. He then went over and put his arm around Simon's shoulders. "We is all brothas and sistas, and we all must see his light, or end up, like, rejected by the world's awesome groovyness."

"Get your hand away from me!" Simon shouted. Then he threw David's arm away from him. "Now if you dare touch me like that again, I'm going to have to throw you outside and feed you to the birds!"

David moved his glasses down a little and started talking normal again. "But sir! It's 'Aloha Hippie' day! Everyone's supposed to act like this. And I don't think birds would want to eat me! Birds like amazing cooks and singers, and that's what I am! And besides, birds give me good advice like Kristy and Jimmy does!"

Simon's eyes had somehow gotten used to staring at the kid's strange clothing, and he shot him a strange look. "Ok, Kristy I know and wish I didn't, but who's Jimmy?" he asked.

"Oh, Jimmy's your pet gorilla. Jason and I didn't find it polite to just call him 'the beast' or 'it' or 'the gorilla', so we decided to name him after myself..."

"You named him?"

"Yeah. And he's on stage with us right now, celebrating with us at our luau."

"WHAT?" Then he walked past David out to the stage and saw that the place had gotten a major makeover. The stage appeared to have been spray painted with an odd shade of green with purple, yellow and orange peace signs and smiley faces everywhere. The walls were covered with the same kind of green paint with giant yellow happy faces on them. Everyone on the studio was wearing identical clothing to David's, including Archy, who had a few leis of blue, white and pink around his tiny neck. Danny was wearing a straw hat with leaves around it, Jason had some sort of war paint on him, and Carly was wearing a pair of bellbottomed pants and had a purple headband around her forehead. Off to the right side of the stage, Jimmy was eagerly watching all the excitement from his cage and jumping up and down making the floor shake slightly. Not wanting him to feel left out, Jason tossed a pineapple over to him. Jimmy caught it and tossed it into his mouth as he looked on happily.

Simon, of course, was not pleased with this sight at all. "You painted my studio again?"

"Well we had to! After all, it is Aloha Hippie day, so we painted the place with some tye-dye paint that we found in Jason's pocket."

Simon stared angrily at David. "Take it down!"

"But Aloha Hippie Day isn't over ye- "

"I said take it down! NOW!"

Not wanting to argue with someone who was not only his master, but also had a powerful arm and had a known tendency to kill people if they didn't cooperate (or just pissed him off in general), David gave Simon a quick salute. "Yes sir, Simon Cowell, sir!" Then he zoomed right past him and started scraping the paint off the walls immediately. Not exactly sure about David's actions, the gang all turned to where Simon was standing. Simon gave them all the same harsh look that he had given David and they knew right away why he was doing it and immediately started helping David out. During all the commotion, Simon walked back into his room, sat by his organ and rested his head against his large hand. Could this possibly get any worse? he mentally asked himself. Little did he know that he was going to have even more trouble when four explosion survivors join the gang.